Transforming pretending into presence

You get up in the morning and the train of thoughts departs with immediate effect. Your mind starts to rattle through the tasks ahead. It is called getting back into the daily grind, doing the chores, and running the errands. If you don't discipline yourself, it doesn't get done, and you feel like your life is derailing.

 

And once the day is on its way, you have to deal with work, chores and annoyances. You have to do the dishes, call the insurance company, deal with your in-laws, or you find yourself stuck in a traffic jam.

 

Annoyances, duties, difficult people, the tax authorities.

 

All of this and more stands in the way of what you really want. Being by yourself on your phone, or walking the dog, or reading a book.

 

Or, just maybe, it stops you from taking time to meditate.

 

Whatever it is. It is right there and in this moment, right now, you can not avoid it.

 

So you pretend you can go with it. You solve, deal, manage, or bear with it. You pretend, put up a smile, curse a little or voice a complaint and take it on.

When asked how you are doing, you probably say 'I am ok, just very busy'. Or something of that sort.

 

Whatever you answer, you are pretending to be okay with whatever you are dealing with.

 

This being okay part is socially expected. It is the norm. You stay consistent with who you think you are, consistent with how others expect you to be.

 

But what does this bring you from a mental health perspective? This pretending and keeping up?

 

Pretending is exhausting, it requires energy to react consistently and to appear as people expect you to appear. While you control yourself.

 

This is mentally draining and an obstacle on your journey towards better health and awakening.

 

And when the energy runs out, or there is 'just' one more thing that comes your way...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are allowed to do all of these tasks with a present conscious mind. 

 

Let's take clearing out the dishwasher as an example. Most people will do this with a feeling of resistance. It seems a useless and repetitive task . At best it is used to think about the other things you want to do after you're done with the task. 

 

But you can choose. Instead of rushing the process you can clear out the machine while paying attention to what you do. You pick up every item with care, giving it full attention.

You place it where it is supposed to go. You do this with presence, appreciating every gesture, every move and every item you pick up.

 

Now at first, approaching chores like this, might feel like pretending. You pretend to 'appreciate' the task. That is not what is meant by being present and giving it full attention. Giving it attention is similar to focusing on your breathing when you meditate. It is similar to intensely listening to someone. You focus on the event without considering the outcome. Or as it is so beautifully called when you study the Bhagavad Gita, you don't attach yourself to the fruit of the outcome of your action. 

 

What is waiting for you when you are finished clearing out the dishwasher? An empty dishwasher. 

You might think; 'I feel satisfied because I cleared out the dishwasher and create a bit of order in the house.' 

 

Great, but what difference should that make? The act itself and the simple focus on the task is enough.

 

You can apply the same principle to your work, especially if you are annoyed or you are dealing with difficult colleagues. Just do your work. If you think you want or need to change it, keep that wish somewhere available but don't attach any hope or feeling of reward to it.

 

Do your work and attend to every task with full attention. Your mind will be calmer and you will notice that some space emerges to consider other things. This can be, e.g., letting the desire to do something different emerge. Or to do what you are doing differently. Or to abandon what you are doing completely. 

 

In every situation you have 3 options:

Here we are focusing on the first aspect.

 

Then see what emerges. The space you create when you just do stuff, without overthinking it and without attaching all of your happiness to the fruit of the outcome, that space will help you to discover what is called intuition. 

 

And intuition is what you would need to know what to change or whether you should abandon what you are doing.